She... Rebecca

Now the truth...Becca was my She...

She..
Completes Me..
Is all that I see..
Is where I want to be..
To my heart She..
has the key..
She..
Understands Me..
Never places demands on me..
Never raises a hand to me..
Or uses vulgarity..
Loves so easily...
With us no complacency..
Has me..
Thinking of getting on one knee..
Family?...
Expanding my family tree..
Could this just be..
A dream to me
Just a wanna be..
Or a never gonna be..
I’ll have to wait and see..
For She..
Means a lot to me..
So I wait patiently..
Somewhat anxiously..
For what Might Be?..
Hmmm She..
Moves Me…
My her Words Sooth Me..
Makes Love to me..
With her eyes, you see..
They are passionately..
Reaching out to me..
How can this be..
In time so briefly..
Spent, Heaven sent, to me..
Some one who is so angelically..
Made, in the true image of Eve you see..
But this is not based physically..
Or even sexually..
More mentally..
Somewhat spiritually..
Definitely..
She..
If opportunity..
Presents the..
Chance for She..
To be..
Next to Me..
Throughout eternity..
Hmm.. Exactly..

Saturday

Saturday...
Sitting at the bar this morning, rubbing the hair on my head..
Rubbing my eyes, finishing my cereal, wishing I were back in bed..
Then out of know where a familiar smile, appears upon my face...
For I can not get back in my bed, my oldest daughter has taken my place..
I go to the window and open the blinds, notice my youngest is still asleep..
So I turn off the TV that has been on all night, trying not to make a peep..
There's laundry to do, rooms to clean, and dishes in the sink..
"Where do I want to start first", is all that I can think..
I turn on the Tele, to my favorite channel, of course ESPN..
I stretch myself, regain my foucs, and let the cleaning begin..
The dishwasher is loaded, the laundry is going, " kids get out of bed " ...
"Yes it's Saturday, I know your sleepy, but you still need to be fed"...
So I go from maid to short order cook, cause in the kitchen I am pretty great...
Scrambled Cheese eggs, blue berry pancakes, and sausage grace their plate...
I smile as I watch them eat, their happiness makes me glad...
They clear their plates, drink their juice, give me a hug, " Thanks Dad "...
They disappear into their room, to play Game Cube and watch a DVD...
No they can't them both at once, had to buy another TV...
As I glanced around my place, an inspiration was planted...
So many things, in my everyday life, I often take for granted...
Simple things, that mean hardly anything, I walk by everyday...
But yet my life would be drastically changed, if they were all taken away...
I will not ramble on to my point, and keep all of you people guessing..
Humble yourself, look around, and count each and every blessing..
Then think to yourself, where you would be, if all were taken away...
then remember the ones that dont have what you have, the next time you kneel to pray..
So now I am back to my daily chores, to clean up kitchen and make up the bed...
I will not gripe and complain, for I could be homeless instead..

Thank you Lord...

FUBA

The grass is always greener on the other side?

The grass is always greener on the other side,
is how things may seem,
But I have found that the perfect relationship,
is simply just a dream.
Yes I saw the fence and greener grass,
but I woke up and did realize,
That if my grass doesn't seem too green,
Maybe, I might need to fertilize.
Now, don't let me confuse you,
I will attempt to get it straight,
So on the word " fertilize " ,
let me now elaborate.
Plant some seeds of love and trust,
then a few of patience and understanding,
Don't expect it to blossom over night,
so don't be too demanding.
Now cultivate with the love of God,
and make sure to keep out the weeds,
And beware of so called " dandelions ",
out there planting their evil seeds.
This isn't going to be an easy process,
It is going to take hardwork and tears of pain,
But nothing in this world ever grows,
unless there is a little rain.
A season will come, when you'll ignore your yard,
you might want to keep hanging out with the guys,
But another might find your grass pretty green,
so it is best that you sometimes compromise.
Now I leave you to go tend to your lawn,
with a step I shouldn't have to mention,
Stop roaming into other yards envious,
and pay your's a little more attention.
FUBA

Freestyle VII: Reason for the Season

I was touched in the middle of the Night at 12:01am. I told myself I was not going to Blog or get on the internet the entire time I was out of town. But these words came to me and I could not shake them, and something said to me, " wake up and write it down ". Here is what came to me....

It was not about the SHOPPING, making sure all got a gift,
It was not about the many Holiday cards, from which you had to sift.
It was not about who was naughty or nice, throughout the year,
It was not about Santa Claus, and eight tiny reindeer.
It was not about the tree, or the house covered with lights,
It was not about the wrestless kids, and all the sleepless nights.
It was not about the mistletoe, or the burning yule log,
It was not about the carols, sung while sipping on egg nog.
It was not about the food and desserts, which bring so much joy,
It was not about the clothes, ugly ties, or not one single toy.
It was not even about family, that drove in from miles away,
It was not even about friends, who send cards only on this day.
It was about the birth, of this very special little boy,
Whom on Christmas day, with Him brought Love, Peace, and Joy.
He also brought a promise, to be with us till this world ends,
give a chance to be in His Father's Kingdom, and forgive us for our Sins.
So this day I humble myself, and not follow suit with the worldly treason,
and give Thanks to God for His Son, the true reason for the Season.

Someone asked me the other day, " are you ready for Christmas". I said, " of course, it is the same time every year, not like it is a surprise ". They asked, " did you get all the toys your kids wanted this year". To this I replied, " nope, most of the time I get them a couple of wants, then get them what they need, they appreciate it more when I have done it this way.. cause they know it came from me and not Santa Claus". They then said, " Tony why don't you make a big deal about Christmas like everyone else? " I turned to their child and asked, " who was born on Christmas? ", the child replied, " I don't know ". I then turned to them and said, " THAT'S WHY !!!!! ".
I have also been ridiculed for not letting my kids believe in Santa Claus for a long time. There are certain values I want my kids to have, I want them to know and celebrate the real reason for Christmas first, then understand it is better to give and not only be concerned with what you get. I also want them to understand that Mom and Dad worked very hard to get them what they need and want and they should appreciate whatever it is they receive. Yes, I let them believe in Santa Claus for a while, but I wanted them to know the truth from ME, we got this trust thing going.
You teach your kids about Santa, there are all of these books about him, and all of the great things he does. They know he brings gifts to the world, is a jolly old man, but they have NEVER seen him. Then after many years, when they are older, they find out from other's that Santa is fake, they come to you and you confirm it. A bond is altered and a small amount of trust is lost between you two. Then you try to teach them about Jesus, there is only ONE real book about Him, about all the miracles and works He does, that to some seem very hard to believe. He brings so many gifts to the world everyday, He smiles upon us continually, but we have NEVER seen Him. There are going to be plenty of people out there, telling your kids He is fake. They reflect back to Santa Claus..... Do you see where I am going with this?
Happy Holiday's.... Merry X-Mas... Jesus has been taken out of everything... This Too ?
Plus if you rearrange the words in Santa.. it is Satan .. and that is just too big of a coincidence to ignore... LOL.
FUBA --- I am going to bed now, it is off my heart and on your mind.

Freestyle VI - Three Piece =-)

Chorus:
Just carry on, life goes one, so keep on writin..
Put it down, no need to clown, just keep invitin..
Be yourself, nothing else, and don't pretend...
Cause in the end, a real friend, you can't EASILY Offend...
Maybe I missed the point, of having a Yahoo Blog,
basically, I thought it was just a freakin log,
For things I like to do, and things I like to write,
Post it up, and then send peeps a small invite,
Just like to see, if yall share my point of view,
But that doesn't mean, I write this stuff for you,
Or yall, Him, Her, Them, or even We,
Basically, I write this stuff for Me,
Chorus:
Just carry on, life goes one, so keep on writin..
Put it down, no need to clown, just keep invitin..
Be yourself, nothing else, and don't pretend...
Cause in the end, a real friend, you can't EASILY Offend...
I told myself, this Yahoo thing is a big mistake,
End it now, stay gone, just don't take a break,
But then it happened to me, just the other night,
My Nephew says, " Uncle Tony you've inspired me to write,
In this world, I thought no one was just like me,
That I was adopted, and came from another tree",
I said, "Trae you know, you and I have a special bond,
I loved you, took care of you, wanted you to be my Son",
He started a blog that day, and his words flow true,
and I told Trae, this is what you need to do...
Chorus:
Just carry on, life goes one, so keep on writin..
Put it down, no need to clown, just keep invitin..
Be yourself, nothing else, and don't pretend...
Cause in the end, a real friend, you can't EASILY Offend...

FUBA - might not make sense to no one but me and my Nephew... But that's fine by me.
To my Nephew Trae Pictured Above... Three Piece, over the years you have become a great man. It seems like only yesterday we were chillin in the den watching Major Payne for the 100th time. You will never fully know how much joy you have brought into my life. When people ask me why didn't I try for a Son, I tell them I already have one... YOU !!
Something, Anything, Nothing...
If there is Something you need, Anything I can do, Nothing will stop me from doing it...
Uncle Tony

From Daddy...

I got in my car, and filled it with gas,
got to I35, and just hauled ass,
Not even knowing, what I was going to find,
Or even if I'd get a chance, to clear my mind.
Alone I ate breakfast, also lunch and dinner,
but no appetite, so I was getting a little thinner.
So I thought a little company, would help me eat,
So I went out with some friends, for a change of beat.
They were okay friends, barely remember a name,
But something was missing, it didn't feel the same.
So I bid them good day, and left for my room,
There was not one single noise, just doom and gloom.
So I went to the gym, saw people from every single race,
but no matter where I looked, not one familiar face.
So I went to my room, to prepare for the next day,
but that weird feeling, just would not go away.
Days and Nights passed, as an eye does blink,
and I sitting alone, continued to think,
Then I realized, what exactly was going wrong,
and it was something I knew, pretty much all along.
I didn't have to go anywhere, there was nothing to find,
cause the best things in my life, I had left behind.
So I got in my car, and rushed back to my house,
rushed in and embraced, my kids and my spouse.
Not one questioned asked, about where did I roam,
the only thing that was said, "we're glad you are home".
Forever? .. I don't know, but I am willing to try,
never giving up on my family, till the day I may die...
From Daddy..

The Door is Closed...I have given up on the Human Race.... Blog Blog Blog Has left the building..

My heart has been cold, from the very start,
every since I saw my Dad, tear my Mom's apart.
I figured I'd rather be alone, cold, and guarded,
than be with someone, and end up broken hearted.
But then I told myself, find someone you can trust,
learn how to Love, because it is something that you must.
So foolishly I let my guard down, and gave it a try,
Never second guessing, or wondering why.
But now, as a result, I find myself being torn apart,
By the very people I trusted, trampling on top of my heart.
I let my guard down, and let people come inside,
and all my deepest thoughts and fears, with them I did confide.
I made myself an open door, sharing for all to see,
thinking this would help, people really understand me.
But instead of understanding, they turned and figured me weak,
and thought I'd just sit there, and keep turning the other cheek.
They analyzed my words, till they found my weakest spot,
Then they went out for blood, giving it all they've got.
Now here I sit all alone, truly dazed and confused,
Knowing I let my guard down, and unfortunately I got used.
I should have never let my guard down, and left myself exposed,
But it will never ever happen again, because that door is closed.

At this point in my life, I am tired of People... people I thought I knew, people I thought knew me, people I thought really cared for me... I have found that the more you show people your innermost thoughts, desires, and fears... the easier it is for them to get to you and subsequently, hurt you. At this point, I think it is best for me to just keep my feelings to myself. Yes, I am a very passionate person, but I am also a very strong person.. When I was the old me, I never got hurt, cause I never let anyone get close to me, and I never really cared.
So now I will end this.. no longer will I put myself out there for all to examine... The Door is Closed.

FUBA

Freestyle IV - Internet Whore

After talking with a friend at the gym...
I was just called an " Internet Whore ",
cause with all you ladies, she assumes I try to score.
She says, " they are all hoochies, with sex on the brain ",
and I just need the attention, am I really that vain??
She seems to think, I enjoy the naked pics,
but I think she forgot, I get my fair share of pricks.
I just like to write, but once again I will mention,
I do enjoy getting all that attention.
Though at first I was offended to have that said,
but I put it on paper, off my mind, and went to bed.
I know she was being honest, not trying to offend,
but it seems she might not know me, like a true friend.
As for her statement, I can easily refute,
I don't need women on my BLOG, to prove I am cute.
I know many don't believe me, to other's it isn't right,
But I only accept friends, that actually read what I write !!!!

--- to all my friends.. thanks for reading... keep commenting...
Much repsect.. FUBA

Vain...

Tony... you are so vain...
I grew up in the shadows, of an older brother,
some love from Dad, but most came from my Mother.
Small in stature, never really stood out in the crowd,
the only way I got attention, was to cut up and be loud.
I was a good kid, with a good disposition,
Got along with everyone, but women paid me no attention.
I wasn't Mr Popularity, or the Star Athlete,
I was rather thin, kinda short, a little under six feet.
So I took what I was given and never complained,
But I was rather amazed, with the 6 inches in height I gained.
Then I hit the gym and at first I did struggle,
But I worked out like a maniac and put on 50 pounds of muscle.
Now people pay me attention and they like what I did gain,
and after all I went through, all of a sudden I am vain?
Tony... you need all of those women to validate you...
Why would I need a woman to validate me,
I know who I am and who I want to be.
Most people get validation, we all need some,
but the validation I need, comes from my wife, daughters, and mom.
Do I love the attention, YES, cause I never forget,
back in the day, it was something I didn't get.
Now i've been in print, yes I used to be a model,
running in fancy shoes, dressed up, or holding a bottle.
Yes I look in the mirror and I love what I see,
and I could really care less, if anyone else does agree.
Okay here's the secret of what makes me, me..
It comes from my Nanny, her name Ruby Lee.
She told me, " be proud, walk tall, and stick out your chest,
you're a handsome boy, work hard and be your best.
Finish what you start and never give up and quit,
and if people don't like who you are...
Tell them Nanny said Go To Shit" ....
Tony... you're selfish... it's all about you...
I don't go to the mall or any clothing store,
Yes I need new stuff, but my girls need it more.
I make plenty of money, but I am not overcome with greed,
I never go out and buy something I really don't need.
My money is well spent and my only real vice,
is a 40 dollar gym membership, so I can look nice.
I work hard to please others, I often compromise,
I smile and speak to people I really despise.
At work I deal with jokes and comments, aimed at my race,
Yet I take it in stride, move on, with a smile on my face.
I try to help others, when theirs backs against the wall,
But people are content to sit back and watch me fall.
When my brother and his wife, decided to act a fool,
I helped raise my nephew, when I was still in school.
Then shortly after that, my mother took i'll,
I dropped out of college to take care of her, against her will.
Recently, I moved to a city, where I didn't want to be,
took a job that is great, but it doesn't really suit me.
I made this drastic change in the middle of my life,
I did this and more, in efforts to please my wife.
See, i've given my all to other's, till I had nothing left,
but yet some how, people say I am all about myself?

This last week... I have taken and taken.. so tired, I am just tired.. it is off my chest now...
Feel free to assume what you want about me... God's knows every hair on my head and most of all He knows what is in my heart....

FUBA - excuse any errors.. written in haste...

Freestyle III - How can you Love me....

I have no idea what it means to anyone.. not even myself... but it came to me at 3:41 in the morning... after a weird conversation about LOVE...I did not bother to check it.. I just wrote it down.. now I am putting it on my Blog. If you like it great.. if you hate it great... either way.. post your comment.. cause lately Love has confused the HELL outta me...

How can you Love me, and you don't even know my name,
How can you Love me, and you don't know if our interest are the same.
How can you Love me, when you don't know what's in my heart,
How can you Love me, when we've never been together, always apart.
How can you Love me, when you don't know if i've reached any goal,
How can you Love me, when you have never touched my soul.
How can you Love me, and you don't know if I am someone you can trust,
How can you Love me, when your love is being fueled by lust.
How can you Love me, when you don't know what I've left behind,
How can you Love me, when you hardly ever cross my mind.
How can you Love me, when you don't know the source of all my pain,
How can you Love me, what is it your expecting to gain.
How can you Love me, you really have no idea who I am,
How can you Love me, think you can change me, I'll be damned.
How can you Love me, do you think you can take me from my wife,
How can you Love me, do you think only sex makes a good married life.
How can you Love me, when you know not what fuels my desire,
How can you Love me, when you've never been through the fire.
How can you Love me, when you've never seen me rave and rant,
How can you Love me.......
I'm sorry, I really feel you can't.....

FUBA