To my Brother...

together we often lied-
together we both cried-
we had a few meetings-
shared many of dad's beatings-
you always looked out for me in school-
even though "sweet d" was just too cool-
but when dad left you blamed our mother-
i hated you for that and we lost each other-
you had so much animosity in your heart-
it tore you, me, and our mother apart-
part of me was crushed and hard to mend-
cause i had lost my first best friend-
but GOD stepped in brought you back my way-
by blessing us with a kid named trae-
your very first son and your name sake-
but also here to repair the family's break-
so we became friends again in my college years-
played basketball and shared many beers-
we got a nice place and lived together-
stuck with each other in bad weather-
but you meet this lady and you were outta there-
and left me stranded in the middle of no where-
i was again filled with hate and felt betrayed-
and yes once again our relationship decayed-
but things from out past-
we shouldn't let it last-
so in order to live and let live-
in my heart i must forgive-
cause if I cant forgive you on one accord-
how can i expect forgiveness from the Lord-
now by God we have another common bond-
with my first daughter and your second son-
some how by an act of fate-
were both born on the exact same date-
God's working overtime to keep us close-
He's given us more chances than most-
you are my big brother and my friend-
please don't screw this up again =-)
so though we have a few miles between each other-
I love you "Junior", still, your Little Brother.

Anthony
Put on my heart 050206 @ 5:30am

rambling... im sorry

im sorry that i caught your eye like you did mine
im sorry that i could never get you off my mind
im sorry that i came to you when your family had a wreck
im sorry that you came to my best friends funeral out of respect
im sorry we were both in pain and needed each other so much
im sorry i loved the way you made me feel and decided to keep in touch
im sorry that i spoiled you putting you before everyone in my life
im sorry that even though i wasnt ready i made you my wife
im sorry for not letting you go into the arms of carl or freddie
im sorry that i made you a mom when clearly you werent ready
im sorry i was so young not sure what marriage was about
im sorry i made so many mistake in the process of figuring it out
im sorry that i worked too much trying to make the ends meet
im sorry i was gone so much playing but never did i cheat
im sorry for staying by your side in sickness and every complication
im sorry for making a way for you out of every sticky situation
im sorry i never let you quit at every little quirk
im sorry i love you so much and keep trying to make it work
im sorry that my mind strayed when you werent before my face
im sorry that you dont believe my heart and body stayed in place
im sorry im apparently not the man you want me to be
im sorry when you look at our girls they will constantly remind you of me
im sorry that i complicated your life on the day i presented you a ring
i take the blame for all of this but i dont regret or would change a thing

Maybe we were not meant to be... But we are...
-anthony 041906 @ 16:19

To Brie and Lexi

Do not be lured in, by wordly temptation,
to brielfy satisfy, carnal self gratification.
Be ye not sub-dued, by the will of the flesh,
Be one with God, until the time comes to mesh.
"Showing someone you love them", is a subtle deviation,
a convenient excuse, for premarital fornication.
Love is more spiritual, deep, and very complex,
and in the long run, has nothing to do with sex.
So keep you minds, bodies, and your souls pure,
and happy marriages and Heaven, will be your reward for sure.

Dad 041706 @ 13:02

Easter

This is the second piece I wrote that same early morning:

When my Lord and Saviour, arose from the dead,
and rolled that heavy stone, away from His death bed.
He gathered all of His disciples, before it got too late,
and advised them all, on how He wanted to celebrate.
"Advise all the women, that live in every town,
to adorn the heads with hats, and wear their finest gown.
Advise all the men, that dwell on this globe,
to gather up fine linens, to make a nicer robe.
Now to keep my resurrection festive, so not to fall out of habit,
let's give it a cute mascot, yes of course, the Easter Rabbit.
And let's not forget the children, from the eldest to the runt,
Let's hide colored boiled eggs, and call it an "Easter Egg Hunt".
Do not mention I was beaten, until my blood run red,
or how I had to carry my cross, with a crown of thorns upon my head.
And to keep things pleasant, and not make the day gorey,
leave the nails in my hands and feet, completely out of the story.
And for goodness sake my disciples, so people won't run and hide,
don't bring up the spear, and made blood and water run from my side.
And to keep people content, so this Holiday won't be a loss,
let's keep it kinda low key, for their sins, I died upon that cross...."

Let me stop, this is scary and has gotten completely ridiculous. Does everything have to be made into a festive Holiday for us to remember and celebrate, or to just simply give thanks.
Look how far away we have gone from the truth... Do not commercialize Jesus.. lets try and keep Him real.

Anthony 041706 @ 3:45am

Lukewarm

Tossed and turned for about 2 hours trying to get rest, but I could not find rest til I wrote the things that were put on my heart. Here is one:

Throughout the the world you will see, the Lukewarm Saint,
Whom daily a facade, they must visually paint.
The Lord wants you hot or cold, and filled with no doubt,
For if your soul is lukewarm, He will spew you out.
Do not dwell in His house, under false pretense,
Knowing that all along, you are straddling the fence.
In the eyes of the Lord, all sin is just sin,
Some sin being worse than others, comes from the audacity of men.
Liars, cheats, murderers, and false prophets as well,
Adulterers and Fornicators, will find the same place to dwell.
The Lord nows our mortality, and He knows we oft fail,
But committing sin in repitition, will only lead to Hell.
If you know God's word, and you have chosen to believe,
Be on fire for the Lord, and not set out to deceive.
But if you have read the word, and believe it was fiction told,
Continue living life as you are, and let your soul be cold.
Saints, we are living in the Last Days, signs and wonders do unfold,
The line has been clearly drawn, what side do you choose, HOT or COLD?

Anthony 041706 @ 2:44am