Glue...

I ask you, what is your glue?
Most relationships are based on looks, the usual type of glue,
Hair recedes, figures get lost, nothing else to hold on to.
Other relationships are based on money, another form of glue,
but when times are hard, the money is gone, the couple splits in two.
Some realtionships are based on Sex, the most common type glue,
but what happens after the thrill is gone, basically, that relationship is through.
Then there are actual realtionships based on Love, a glue made of tougher stuff,
but when all of the factors above come into play, sometimes love just isn't enough.
I have an idea for your next relationship, and I am not telling you anything new,
Next time you try and form a bond, why not use God as your glue.
Put Him there, and keep Him there, praying together from the very start,
For what God puts together, no man or woman, can ever tear apart.

anthony 08302006 @ 22:26

goodbye...

I sit here dazed and confused,
Tears streaming down my eyes,
Wondering how the woman who loved me,
Now I, she does despise.
I change myself over and over,
Trying to be the man she wanted,
Even though by my former self,
I was often haunted.
No I am no where close to perfect,
And I have learned from my mistakes,
And made a solemn vow to this marriage,
To make it work no matter what it takes.
But lately things have become clear;
The vow was only my commitment I see,
Though she says she wants no one else,
She feels she has grown apart from me.
I fought, I prayed, I cried,
And had many a sleepless night,
Knowing I would have to face,
Being without my family, the rest of my life.
So many dreams I deferred,
To focus on my blessing from God, my family,
I sacrificed, often working 3 or more jobs,
Sometimes, just to have her ignore me.
But I guess it was always meant to be,
For me to walk alone with God,
Yet I have been so blessed with my family's presence,
It is now going to seem very odd.
So I must now let her go her way, on her own,
If it is what she feels compelled to do,
But She will always be apart of me,
From all the things we've been through.
"I have loved you since I saw you,
You put love in my heart, a sparkle in my eye,
You even helped me be closer to God,
But I must let you go, even if I don't understand why".
So I must now say the hardest words,
I have ever had to say to you in my life,
"Go your way and find your Happiness,
This is good-bye, my darling wife".
I will never search for love again,
No one else, I have given all the love I can give,
I am drained; I have nothing left but God and my girls,
Therefore I'm fine, I will survive, I can and will live.

…From the first Man that completely loved you.

Anthony 101306 @ 1000

lost...

time has no relativity,
i am losing lucidity,
unable to focus when i stop to think,
catch myself sleeping when i blink,
minutes to hours, hours to days,
i've lost track of time, everything's a haze,
things going on in life, i'm left not knowing,
often passing myself, as i am coming and going,
my sleep deprivation, is getting pretty serious,
i often laugh at nothing, could i be delirious,
i've lost several pounds, and my desire to compete,
barely gathering enough strength, to rise to my feet,
over working myself to get ahead, has my world shaken,
seems moments after i close my eyes, alarm, awaken,
breaking ties, losing relations, and i am in danger,
of becoming to my family, a complete stranger,
slowly becoming "that guy", that no one misses,
family time reduced, to goodnight and good morning kisses,
i have no idea how much longer, i can keep this pace,
i am physically and mentally drained, losing the human race…

anthony 110707 @ 12:01

yet...

when will they get…
get, when they will…
yet they still need more…
more they need yet, still…
they have much, yet not enough…
enough have much, yet they, not…
what they got blessed to have…
blessed to have what they got…
some will get what they deserve..
deserve some, what will they get…
yet most are still needing…
needing, most still are, yet…
bless someone this holiday...
anthony 121906 @ 1648

Resolution...

Resolution…
Lord break me,
Lord make me,
Lord hold me,
Lord mold me,
Lord unhide me,
Lord guide me,
Lord reach me,
Lord teach me,
Lord please know me,
Lord, your way, show me,
Lord use me,
Lord don't refuse me,
Lord don't ignore me,
Lord please restore me,
Lord please one last chance, me,
Lord please enhance me,
Lord please, don't let me be the same in 2007,
As I was in 2006…
Resolved…
Anthony 122606 @ 16:19

Selfish...

i have began to think of myself more..
of things I missed and used to ignore...
things i enjoy and always wanted to do...
things i stopped, doing mostly for you...
things that weren't wrong, but just for me...
things that made me feel alive and quite happy...
yes, my family makes me happy, but i need more...
i have been grounded so long, socially i need to soar...
i am dying inside, this is something i have to do...
so if by chance it does, i never intended to hurt you...
respectfully i will go, and hang out with the guys...
no pitiful faces, or any guilt trip filled good byes...
so please don't put me through it, when home i do arrive...
selfishly, i am a live...
anthony 030607 @ 16:29

Soaking in the tub...

hi, i'm anthony and i am pretty quick witted...
been known to say something, and you probably won't get it...
my statements are left field and kinda like a grenade...
you probably wont understand until the next one is made...
been known to make a joke at someones elses behalf...
and everything to me is funny if you remember to laugh...
not really into being stressed out and real serious...
but i will pop a pill, if i needs to get delirious...
now dont go and judge me and give me verbal beatings...
i am not a pill addict, addicts have to go to meetings...
i dont drink or smoke, dont understand the need...
and, "I did not inhale...", back when I smoked weed...
i enjoy all kinds of movies, just watched Sweet November...
and if you dont like Austin Powers, deal with my Gold Member...
the movie list is way too long, so dont get me started...
Along Came Polly, now I know the meaning of "Sharted"...
i need to get out, travel and see the world...
i recently realized, i am addicted to my Pearl...
my life is boring, for no particular reason why...
you're born, grow up, get old if your lucky and die...
but i had an alarm go off, ringing in my head...
made me realize for years, I had been alive, but dead...
so now, at the Dead Sexy age of 35...
i ascend from my living grave and chose to be alive...
not a mid life crisis, just a slight transition...
just moving Anthony's happiness, into pole position...
there is no mid life crisis, we are just still in the game...
women changed things up, we just remained the same...
if i want a sports car now, let me go out and get it...
if my nature decides to rise, by all means let me hit it...
i say this from my heart and mean no disrespect to you...
but i can not spend all of my free time, right up next to you...
if i am compelled to go, i go, if i choose to stay, i stay...
if someone is playing volleyball, no questions, i play...
no i am not being wild, and i dont need to chill...
but if i dont make myself happy, whom else will...
i am there for my family and that will never change...
but now there is my time, schedules must rearrange...
it's been this way for years, but it has to end...
you have to venture out, i cant be your only friend............................
Whew...
what in the hell was in that bubble bath?
now i am all wrinkled up like a prune....
this might not make sense, but it was in my head, so i wrote it down...
anthony 032207 @ 00:23

I miss...

i miss the sound of voices...
i miss the sound of laughter...
i miss the sound of footsteps...
i miss the sound of screams, day and day after..
i miss the sound of the TV...
i miss the sound of a video game...
i miss the sound of my dog barking...
i miss the sound of my name...
i miss the sound of slamming doors...
i miss the sound rattling dishes...
i miss the sound of kids fussing...
i miss the sound of my daughter's kisses...
i miss the sound of hello...
i miss the sound of goodbye...
i miss the sound of a heart felt hug...
i miss the sound of a sigh...
silence, the hardest thing about being alone..

it was on my mind, so i wrote it down...
anthony 011708 @ 13:45

Two women in my bed...

My wife was at work last night, often she runs errands and gets home later after her shift is over. She is usually so drained she will come in, shower, give me a kiss, then drift off on the day bed, but today was different somehow. So I think to myself, " Yes, I have the bedroom to myself to just stretch out and have a wonderful relaxing Saturday Morning with no one to distrub me." In true " Man " form, I reach for the remote, to turn on, what else, ESPN. Before I know it, I am snoozing again, but loving it.... and that's when it happened. One came in and asked if she could lay with me? Looking into her beautiful brown eyes, with her long beautiful hair... of course, I said " Yes ". She laid on my Chest and caressed me, I heard a sigh of comfort, as if she was in the safest place in the world and nothing could harm her as long as she was right there. So I wrapped my arms around her to make her feel even more secure and to reassure her that nothing would harm her. Moments passed and there was a knock at my door. I gazed out and saw the prettiest smile I have ever seen. She peeked in and saw what was going on and asked if she could join us. So I thought to myself and chuckled, " my ultimate fantasy, two women in my bed". So there I lay, with 2 of the most beautiful women in the world on either side of me, lying on my chest. So I put my arms around them and held them, hoping that this moment would last forever. And all I could do was think, this is one of the greatest days of my life. I took a brief moment to reflect on all the things I took for granted in my life and it made me appreciate what was going on even more. Now the irony, my ultimate fantasy when I was young and unsaved was two women in my bed. And God, being the good God that He is granted me just what I asked for. Except for the twists "two women in my bed", has nothing to do with sex in any form or fashion. Those two women, were my two " Little " women, my beautiful daughters, 8 and 10, whom for some reason believe that no bed in the world is as good as Mom and Dad's bed. They woke up bright and early Saturday morning, just to come in one by one to sleep in the bed with Dad. And as I held them in my arms and we snoozed... I realized .. two women in my bed... LOL. Now as you read this, how many actually thought I was talking about sex with two women? It is okay to admit it. As I lay there holding two of the loves of my life, I realized, this is what it is all about, unconditional love. I didn't have to say anything, buy anything, or do anything special for it. All I had to do was just be there and only a true parent can understand this... it was the greatest feeling I have ever felt. So many look for unconditional love, but never find it, yet I found it, when I wasn't looking for it. Don't kids just amaze you sometimes, even when they aren't trying to. =-)

"Many are Loved because they are Rich.... Yet, I am Rich, because I am Loved... "
- Anthony Dickerson

Hate...

what is the purpose of my blog...
to come in and squeeze off a log....
chit chatter like a mad hatter bodies in a bag...
or gay bash batter up you fag...
or maybe talk down to niggas and kikes...
or poke fun at cripples and dikes...
blast towel heads for bombing the towers...
go rhasta smokin weed for hours...
or maybe this is just for me...
to spit shit kinda randomly...
to drop bombs like hiroshima...
or to show you all i am just a dreamer...
so sit back and relax ya minds....
and dont try to read in between the lines...
cause out of all the things ya read...
ya can't believe a fuggin word i said...
God made me and God made you...
so I gots love whether ya Muslim or Jew...
Asian, Black, Indian, or White...
Love has no nationality, aaigght !!!

HATE... let it go... the ways of old are gone...
FUBA - For U By Ant.... peace

I used to...

I used to like the computer, was on it everyday,
then God changed me,
Really re arranged me,
Now I want to throw my computers away.
I used to like to chat, with my workplace click,
then Jesus stepped in,
became my Best friend,
Now some of my friends make me sick.
I used to like to game, dominoes and spades,
then along came to word,
singing to me like a bird,
Now I have something to last the decades.
I used to love myself, more than everything,
I was so very vain,
a mirror was like cocaine,
Now i'm a humble servant to my King.
I used to like to Blog.............

People...

People are going to stare, because of who you date...
People are going to hate you, for the color of your mate...
People are going to ask you, why not date your race...
People are going to scowl, and laugh right in your face...
People are going to assume, you fell for the black man hype...
People are going to say it's not love, it must be the stereotype...
People are going to say, she must not be able to do any better...
People are going to mark you, with their own scarlet letter...
People are going to look down on you, for no real reason at all...
People will not look for you to succeed, but look for you to fall...
People are going to judge you, and condemn you from the start...
People are going to be cold to you, and try to tear you apart...
People are going to give you choices, Him or friends and family...
People are going to say they just care, and want to see you happy...
People are going say, your better off dating within your own...
People will even say, you are better off being alone...
No matter what people say, your feelings you can not hide...
Don't listen to what they say, let Love be your guide...
As wise man said, " it does not matter the color of the skin "...
" But what truly matters, is what lies within "...

What ever person you choose to love, Black, White, Italian, Chinese, Indian, or Hispanic.. if they are good to you and respect you... by all means, be happy and be loved.

I wish...

I Wish
I wish I didnt miss you,
I wish I didnt care,
I wish I didnt look for you,
Every time you werent there.
I wish I didnt think of you,
While I lay awake in my bed,
I wish I didnt want you lying beside me,
Instead of in my head.
I wish I didnt miss your lips,
I wish I didnt I miss your eyes,
I wish I didnt miss your smiles,
I wish I didnt have to say, all those good byes.
I wish I didnt miss your touch,
I wish I didnt miss your voice,
I wish I didnt miss the smell of your hair,
I wish I didnt have to make a choice.
I wish I didnt need you,
I wish I didnt want you to,
All these things I wished I didnt,
But the problem is I do.
I wish things were different,
I wish we werent apart,
I wish I could get you out of my head,
So I could caress you in my heart.

Keep it Real

Yes, I said it, I am proud to be black...
I wouldn't change my color, as a matter of fact...
Why am I, "not like a normal black"...
just cause I talk proper and know how to act...
Why do my own people say I talk white ...
I'm just educated, so I say I talk " Right "...
Yes, I went to college, good grades were made...
so why in the hell am I still under paid...
Why can't I go out and jog around my blocks...
why is it when white people see me, they lock the locks...
Why do the cops always have to run my plate...
cause they see me out riding in a nice car kinda late...
Why I gotta be slanging, just cause I get paid...
why the bitch at the pharmacy ask if I was on Medicad...
Even the act of shopping, has become a big deal...
Dude, I don't need your help, and I am not going to steal...
Listen, you freaks, there is nothing betweens us...
Stop charging me up, cause of the size of my penis..
I am constantly dissed cause of the color on my skin...
But open up a tanning bed, same fools jump in...
I saw the Color Barrier, I worked hard to break it...
Then my own race tells me, you'll never make it...
Then when I make it, they are quick to shout...
" Look at Tony, nothing but a sell out" ...
Black People Please Tell Me, What is the Deal...
If I was in the hood making babies, Would I have Kept It Real ???

More Randomness

Just a random thought:

People will spend close to 56 hours a week trying to get some rest..

People will spend more than 40 hours a week at work trying to get ahead...

People will spend about 20 hours more or less on the computer to get relaxation...

People will spend about 15 hours a week at the table.. Trying to get full...

People will spend 8 hours a week at a gym trying to get in shape....

People will spend at least 5 hours a week to get closer to their friends...

So why cant people spend at least 2 hours a week.. In church.. Trying to get closer to God ??

Has Heaven really fallen so low on people's list of things they need to do ??

Blog-a-holic

Hi, I'm Ant, and I'm a Blogaholic...
I can't stop, like a crying baby with cholic...
It's been 2 days, 12 hours, 25 minutes since my last entry...
fooled me, because, it felt like a century..
I wait til everyone is asleep at night..
Log on to Blog's and that's when I like to write..
Sometimes, when I'm alone, and in the mood...
I log on, and then I blog, in the nude...
But for real I can quit when ever i like...
See I just stopped.............. psyche.
Okay, so what, I got caught Blogging at work...
My boss just don't understand, no blogging jerk...
I mean, he didnt have to take my laptop and spoil it...
just cause he caught a brother, blogging on the toilet...
I mean officer, why I'm I under arrest...
Cause I got that "Blog Life" tattoed on my chest..!!!

Okay.. it's late and I am trippin just to make yall trip with me...
Men ... Women... I love yall... You guys keep me blogging...

Straight Trippin

I'm in a little pain, so I went and popped a pill,
figured it help me relax, numb the pain, so I could chill,
But I must admit, my mind ain't too straight,
compounded by the fact that it's getting kinda late,
I feel kinda stressed, getting a little moody,
I must admit, I don't like the shape of my booty,
I was actually wondering, If I'd look good in a skirt,
then I noticed, my nipples starting to hurt,
For the oddest reason, I really don't know why,
I have the sudden urge, just to break down and cry,
Why my wife all up on me, trying to get at my penis,
Can't we just cuddle and relax, is sex all that's between us,
What the hell is going on, why am I acting this way,
Oh my God, I know a brotha ain't turning gay,
Then I noticed what had happened, and it really made me grin,
That pill wasn't for pain, it was my wife's hormones, Premarin....

I am trippin... just making you guys grin a little.. everything is back up and running and I will be back blogging as usual... Missed all of you...
Take Care...

FUBA - for those that still don't know... FUBA - For U By Ant....