Insomnia...

night after night, i can never get to sleep...
i sit and listen closely, for you to make a peep...
i over analyze, every sound you make...
looking at your ches,t for every breath you take...
sometimes you moan, others you scream in pain...
you call on God or you'll call out my name...
you say you're so tired, of living this way...
so desperately wanting Him, to take the pain away...
the girls worry so much now, their dreams keep them up...
they fear without a mother, is how they'll grow up...
so i sit watching, mentally replaying the good times for a while...
but they are few and far in between now, hard for me to smile...
even in your sleep, the pain often makes you cry...
so i kiss your forehead softly and wipe the tears from your eye...
i ponder your wish, of God ending your life...
selfishly i think of myself, going on without my wife...
my eyes are heavy now, the day is about to break...
i anticipate your alarm, praying you will awake...
your eyes open, you roll over, you lay upon my chest...
i put on the facade, that i've had a full night's rest...
you dress, leave for work, and i await your text message beep...
an hour later, there it is, i read it, now i can go to sleep...

i promised to take care of you, i will not let you down....
anthony