goodbye...

I sit here dazed and confused,
Tears streaming down my eyes,
Wondering how the woman who loved me,
Now I, she does despise.
I change myself over and over,
Trying to be the man she wanted,
Even though by my former self,
I was often haunted.
No I am no where close to perfect,
And I have learned from my mistakes,
And made a solemn vow to this marriage,
To make it work no matter what it takes.
But lately things have become clear;
The vow was only my commitment I see,
Though she says she wants no one else,
She feels she has grown apart from me.
I fought, I prayed, I cried,
And had many a sleepless night,
Knowing I would have to face,
Being without my family, the rest of my life.
So many dreams I deferred,
To focus on my blessing from God, my family,
I sacrificed, often working 3 or more jobs,
Sometimes, just to have her ignore me.
But I guess it was always meant to be,
For me to walk alone with God,
Yet I have been so blessed with my family's presence,
It is now going to seem very odd.
So I must now let her go her way, on her own,
If it is what she feels compelled to do,
But She will always be apart of me,
From all the things we've been through.
"I have loved you since I saw you,
You put love in my heart, a sparkle in my eye,
You even helped me be closer to God,
But I must let you go, even if I don't understand why".
So I must now say the hardest words,
I have ever had to say to you in my life,
"Go your way and find your Happiness,
This is good-bye, my darling wife".
I will never search for love again,
No one else, I have given all the love I can give,
I am drained; I have nothing left but God and my girls,
Therefore I'm fine, I will survive, I can and will live.

…From the first Man that completely loved you.

Anthony 101306 @ 1000